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| WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...
Dear Listener,
If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere.... |
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| Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording... |
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| Dear Listener,
The word carnivorous means meat eating and this carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even... |
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| Dear Reader,
If you have just picked up this audio, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be... |
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| Dear Listener,
Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend... |
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| Dear Listener,
This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the... |
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| Dear Listener,
If you have chosen to listen to this audio for pleasure, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire... |
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| DISCLAIMER: The long term effects of listening to this audio are unknown. Scientists have detected slightly higher rates of panic, fright and free-floating anxiety amongst listeners to this audio than... |
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| Dear Listener,
Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the... |
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| Dear Listener,
I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy... |
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